complicated

Can't pinpoint what I'm feeling right now.

Complicated might be the most appropriate word.

Somehow,

I realized my personality changed so drastically that I almost can't recognize myself.

Hey, don't get me wrong.

I'm not missing my past or people from my past.

I just happened to realize my changes,

it kinda struck me right into the heart a lil'.

Randomly found an OLD pic of mine from my pc.

I could still remembered the details of what happened on that day so vividly.

I remembered the place, where I used to have my dinner. And that pic was taken on my return visit after I left. It was nostalgic moment.

I was so happy that time. 

Everything seemed wonderful and I was feeling contented over everything.

It was not long before I realized the fact that it was just a bubble and everything shattered with one poke on that fragile bubble.

Well, enough said on my history.

And I guess too much happened too fast, I wasn't ready to take everything.

And I took everything by 'heart'.

My Leo's dignity and pride was somewhat hurt.

Then I built up a way, a way to protect myself from falling.

A way of getting around the rules in the game.

Probably I fell too hard.

My perceptions somewhat changed.

And I killed that person I knew of bits by bits ever since.

I am not missing the person I killed.

I will still say :"served her right"

because I was too naive back then,

and with my luck, that naiveness can lead me to endless disaster,

and I am not strong enough for all that foreseeable pain.

It's just that,

I do miss having my heart opened,

genuinely to people.

Basically I miss being REAL.

I miss being honest to myself.

I shouldn't be that weak.

Running away. How lame.

As much as I hate it,

I should learn to stand after falling,

instead of walking with a walking stick for fear of falling.

Good news is, after weeks and weeks of contemplating, I finally understand what my heart wants, That's progression :)

ps: Christmas is to commemorate Jesus' birthday. A new born life. So to us. Christmas should be a joyful celebration. To celebrate reborn. To celebrate new life ahead. I will look more for the sun :) well, not literally of course.

Chuck and Blair

If you watch Gossip Girl,

you will know this lovely couple.

Many have commented that the Season 2 isn't as exciting,

but I'm loving it,

because Chuck has turned into such a sweetie now.

He is the dream guy that I can only dream about.

Aww my Chuck~~

Missing my babies

Because I'm no longer a chat person as I used to be, I no longer spend hours on internet chatting now, even with close friends. I don't know, I prefer outings and talking face to face more now.
So this girl, I've abandoned her long enough in Malaysia.
And because we're exactly the same type of person, she too abandoned me here.

Then we had a nice chat last night.
We had that typical girls' talk.
Straight forward, honest and no kissing asses.
We talked about the past, present and the future we wanted.
We talked about view, opinions on girls' stuff.
I miss you, and I miss Wei darling too :(
Oh just in case fellow readers don't know Wei, I must post her pretty pic here.

She is my our pretty baby :)

I miss our threesome outings.

I miss everything about us :(

All I wanna say is,

we all strive for better,

and we all will be better.

As long as we walk hand in hand,

we will survive through anything.

I miss you.

My Europe Must Go

Maybe I'm too bored over here,

so bear with me, phh-lease?

The one thing that I am really excited about is to tour Europe.

Don't know exactly how much I can go with it, but there are a number of places that I MUST go during my whole lifetime.

1. France

- Well who doesn't want to go Paris? Tell me if you can name who, and I bet he/she's a big fat liar.

2. Vienna (Austria)

- I am dying to go there. I bet everything is romantic over there, and Mozart!! Prague!!! Everything!! Eh wait, I think Prague is in... ...Czech? Can't be too sure but too lazy to google lol

3. Italy

- I've been wanting to go Rome ever since I watched that cantonese drama Triumph in the Skies!! Oh oh, and MILAN!!!

4. Germany

- For some really insignificant reason I like Berlin. I'd heard once on the sound tracks by Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, and since then I wanna go Berlin! Well I'm definitely not expert in classical music, and maybe I judge that CD by its cover, but I wanna go at least once to its Berlin music festival.

5. Spain

- Madrid. Jolin sang a song about Madrid, so I wanna go and see!!! haha

- Ibiza seems fun too!!! Let's sing along with Vengaboys: " ...Woah~ we're going to Ibiza; Woah~ we're gonna have a party; Woah~ in the Mediterranean sea..." LOL

6. Turkey

- I'd been told about the Turkish Delight. I was told that the traditional Turkish Delight is splendid, I would love to have a try on that place itself :) Maybe they'll too play Turkish March on the street??!! lol

7. Poland

- Never really give any thought on Poland until I reached here where there are many Poland students. Wanted to visit there some time around.

The above are the MUST-GOs!!

Of course I wanna go the whole Europe,

but let me build my dream bits by bits per day, OK?

For now, study should come first.

I must let Europe and LV and Chanel and Shopping off my head for a while :(

我若无其事的故事

我总爱若无其事，

有人说这是逃避，

我却不觉得，

我只觉得如果努力的让自己摆出若无其事的样子，

慢慢的，

心理也会逐渐释怀。

我不知道失恋过渡期有什么解药，

because people grief their way they know how，

我只能希望你会慢慢看开，

因为会过去的。

Stay strong ya za bo~

突然想起我若无其事惯了，

以前在KL时走回家的途中还有15分钟路程，

突然下起倾盆大雨，

是倾盆大雨，

路人们纷纷跑到屋檐下遮雨，

我却装做若无其事的，

继续走回家。

我想要假装没雨的，

结果连眼睛都没法睁开，

全身200%湿透了，

也坚持要装没事走回家 =.=

Housemate也被我\湿答答的狼狈样吓倒 ~.~

现在回想觉得很好笑，

路人们一定觉得我脑筋有问题。

哈哈，我的中文还是ok的